nham!

Life is about making choices. Sometimes, it was not the best; however, it was what you've chosen, so, stick with it. That's what I've been telling myself since several years ago.
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One of my best choices was going to TV junior high school and learning French, instead of English. I  used to hate French. l still remembered how struggled I was by the end of my first year in junior high, even though I made it to the top 2 of my class. Many times, I've been asking myself why I had to learn such a complicated language with so many genres and tenses. Why many of my friends had only 4 to 5 periods of Foreign language per week and I was stuck with this intricate language for more than 20 periods.  And finally, why I was so struggle in the class while the others just seemed to do so fine? So many question for such a mind of a little 12 year old girl. Stubborn enough, I began cramming, not for the fun of the language but mostly for the grade. I wanted to be the best in my class, not only math and science but also French. Time quickly passed by, and by 9th grade, from no where, I started to love that complicated, yet so beautiful and elegance language.  Sadly, it was too late... That's my last year studying French, as my beloved language.
I went to LQD high school, not in a French class but physics one. Still made it to the top 10 of the class, I lost the love of studying. I was confused about what I wanted to be in life. Sometimes, it was a psychologist, a social science teacher, a tour guide, a veterinarian or even a MC.  None of those had anything in common (of course, they were just something I wanted to do). More important, none of them were related to physics, my major. Funny enough, I still applied to physical science major for University. Thinking back, I guessed I was just followed my friends. At that time, in VN, either you went to physcial science major, economy, doctor, pharmacy, physical science teacher....Who had time for those dreamy and unrealistic professions that I wanted to do. Not enough confusion, I also dreamed to go to study abroad (it seems that studying abroad is still a "trendy fashion" for most of students, even now).  I don't know how many people were like me, but honestly at that moment, I just wanted to skip the university, went some where, I didn't even care what I'm gonna study there, just went somewhere, not VN! So stupid huh! However, I successfully made my parents to belive that I truly loved to go to study finance and law. Not filthily rich like others, my family dicussed several options for me, and I agreed to all of those (of course, I could go to anywhere, so who cares, right!) Finally, the opportunity came...
In a beautiful and sunny July day, I came to US after 3 months of preparing, 1morning of waiting, 25 minutes of interviewing, and 2 days of flying (Could you believe that with a $3000 ticket, I stopped for transit for almost a day! Ridiculous huh! I guess that how the people in those Study Abroad centers made money then!)
1 year in high school, I barely went to any party except the Home coming Dance and the Prompt. By the end of the year, I had several friends, only 1 or 2 that I could really talked to, and none I could called. Pathetic huh? In that year, basically, I studied like a dog, literally like a dog to make it to the top 3 of the class and get the scholarship that I promissed with my parents. Also, it was the first and guessing that the only 1, time in my life that I did not see any Vietnamese. With all the strick curfew, I barely accessed to the internet, only for school work, not chatting, or anything else. Still, after all of those hard works, I still failed my parents. I got a scholarship; however, it was in IN, not CA.
Moved to CA, I went to a community college to save money. This time, I did not only study but also worked like a dog (now, you know why I love dog, right! We are just so alike huh? Just kidding!) From a spoiled girl, I worked in almost any jobs I could reach: nail technitian (of course, without lisence), retailer in a wedding invitation card, tutoring and finally, receptionist in a medical office. Sometimes, I worked more than 40 hours a weeks. However, my ego keeps me going strong in my ecademic career. Getting out of UCI, my GPA was 3.92. Still, it would be nothing if I could not get into a pharmacy school...( so, please kindly pray for me, if you are patient and tolerant enough to read through this crappy, long writting! ^_^ )
But life is always a trade off, as to now, I have no friends here, except my bf, his family and my co-workers. They are all nice and spoil me. However, I missed all those times with my family, from the public to private, personal events: Chinese New Year, my brother's wedding, my nephew birth, mom and dad birthdays, their quarrels, their sickness, and many more... I lost all my friends, except a very few (We still talk but I am not even sure whether they would consider me as a friend anymore! After all, I was so far away, and barely there when they needed me!) From an out-going a person, I become more and more timid. Most important, I started losing my will to live! That sounds so stupid huh, I have to admit that. Nevertheless, if I would not make it to pharmacy school, then, what's the point of my life? I failed my own expectation (which I latelty confide into living to make other people life more meaningful by doing those things like volunteer and mission stuffs). Above all, I failed my family dream, which is getting the Pharm D. Degree. Now, only one small event, one little desicion of someone in the Pharmacy Admission commision could change my life, making it so miserable or extremely pleasurable.  See, how narrow-minded I am? Super narrow-minded and studpid huh?
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Back to the choices business, why I have to tell you such a long story for such a short word: CHOICE
Looking back everything, I had to admit that going to the US is my most important decision. I lost a lot of thing, but also, gained several stuff. Above all, I made my family happy and proud, and that is all it would take for me. Yep, their smiles....